Nala’s whisper

I thought that the biggest problem anyone had to face after a heart break was how to move on. I was wrong. Yes, its true that your spirits are so down at that time but that is not a permanent thing. For sure, one day you will wake up and just realize that you have just moved on all of a sudden. I thought that when you move on, that was the end of the problem.

After that, you realized you’ve missed a lot in life and find your self having a great social life. You go out with friends till the wee hours. You find yourself singing your heart out with friends not realizing that its already late. Sometimes you just spend a lot of chit chats with friends talking about whatever.

All in all, during the times when you are down and now that your spirits are high, the stress are all packed in your eyes. I am not a fan of stresstabs. I am definitely in the quest to research and find the right eye cream.

1. Clinique repairwear intensive eye cream – I gently pat this cream in my eyes in the morning and evening (at least I try to put them on regularly). I am not sure if this works but I assume it should since it is Clinique. When I pat them on, I expect a cool feeling but it just like a regular cream. I got this for free when my sister bought me Clinique Make up. It says its not for individual sale.  Recently, I just learned that it cost around 3 thousand plus pesos in Rustan’s.  I used it regularly after learning about it because this should work but it didn’t. I think this is for wrinkles. I stay away from anything that removes wrinkles. Its scary.

2. The Body Shop – Moisture White Eye serum – This should work, I don’t put this on a regular basis but it is supposed to brighten my eye area because currently it is dark. I think though I can see the improvement when using this however, it does not remove the puffiness from my eyes. This costs around..I forgot but for sure it is around 500 or less than 500. It seems to work, I am just bad because I still sleep late.

3.  OLAY age defying revitalizing eye gel – This thing I tried for a couple of days. I don’t know how much this is because my sister just bought it for my mom. I am not sure if this works but ill research. I usually stay away from creams that has age defying statements. Most probably its not for me..or may be its ok. It promises to remove the puffiness though that’s why I tried it. I stopped using it just because of the age defying thing which does not make me comfortable using it on a regular basis.

4. St. Ives Cucumber and Elastin Eye and Face Stress Gel – This felt great when I was using it. It felt cool when I pat the cream around my eye. It gives you a feeling that it works. It promises to remove the stress and fatigue around the eyes which is a good thing. It seems like an all in one removal of everything I want out of my eye area. This is cheaper though I forgot how much. This costs around 300 I guess. This is the cheapest so far.

Currently, I am trying both the eye serum and the eye and face stress gel together on a regular basis. I am not sure what this will do to my eyes. I will update you if it works.

hehehe — my dad just saw me writing all about these creams and he just wanted me to sleep early for that should do the trick. I’ll still try the creams and sleep early hehehe.

If there is a frustration in my life as far as I can remember, it is finding the right jeans. I remember spending hours trying all sorts of jeans. The jeans I tried are usually longer than it supposed to fit me. It is like this, when I get the right length, the hip does not fit me. When I get the right hip size, the length is too long for me. In other words, there is something wrong with me. 

I remember having this garter – waist jeans with the perfect length from company b. I didn’t like the color but having a better fit was important to me then than the color. I also remember having this pair of white corduroy jeans that was loose but not hip hop. I think that’s Pound Puppies kind of jeans. In other words, it’s for kids. I fell in love with these jeans anyways in the end. 

Unfortunately, I thought I will be a kid forever but I got older. The frustration soon builds up. I needed a pair of jeans that would make me look feminine.I then heard about buying jeans and then, you can ask some people to adjust it for you depending on your length. I usually look for jeans that are good on the waist and then, I just go find a shop that can make alterations. This has been my thing with jeans for the longest time. The adjustment would not make it perfect for me because it was initially made for girls with long legs. The flow of the flair does not really appear as it supposed to be. Other times, I just wear the jeans that are great on the waist and just wear high heels with it. It’s uncomfortable but at least it’s feminine so I dealt with this for years. I was content but it was not the right fit. Time went on, I forgot about all my frustrations and I just kept on buying high heeled shoes.

Years passed, I now have been working for three years. I am now open to more expensive things for myself. When I was in a hunt for the perfect white t-shirt, I found out about Top Shop. I like the style of their clothing because it is chic but still classic enough for me. I bought my perfect white shirt and perfect black shirt there. Also, I bought my perfect white sando and perfect black sando there. Upon checking the shop for other items, there you go I found a petite section for all types of jeans and slacks. I tried one of the jeans with the best color for me. To my surprise the fit was perfect. No need for high heels. It was perfect. It’s expensive but I found this pair of jeans at a point in my life when I can afford it. It was just perfect. Now, I work with my best looking slacks and I have fun with my best looking jeans. 

 Lessons learned: 1.)    Timing is everything  2.)    Do not settle for anything less 3.)    The right fit comes when you are no longer looking for it.  4.)    The right fit exists we just have to wait for the right moment.  

Please note that I am only referring to finding the right jeans here, I am not sure if this applies to other aspects in life — hehehe wink wink

Oh my I just heard it today…If there is a song that is not meant for singing, it would most probably be this song. This song is meant to be heard not just anywhere or while I work. That’s a NO NO. It would require total concentration and focus.

Was it because of the person singing it? Well not really..I am no enrique iglesias fan but I am glad he sang it the way it should…so perfect…not so over the top..just perfect. There’s something in the song that grabs me from my world…draws me into some place nice..I am not sure if it is a real place but i hope it is for lots of people. That would be amazing.

Would you dance if I asked you to dance?
Would you run and never look back
Would you cry if you saw me crying
Would you save my soul tonight?

Would you tremble if I touched your lips?
Would you laugh oh please tell me these
Now would you die for the one you love?
Hold me in your arms tonight?

I can be you hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away

Would you swear that you’ll always be mine?
Would you lie would you run away
Am I in to deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don’t care you’re here tonight

When I was assigned to speak about my Lola Heling, I was overwhelmed because the person I will speak to you about is not ordinary.  

We will truly miss her. If there is something or anything that comforts us. It is that we know and witnessed that my lola have lived a life pleasing to our Lord. 

We are no experts in life but if there is something we know about it. It is that to find meaning in life, it is not about how long you have lived your life but it’s about how much you have loved. But for our Lola, this is an understatement because she did both. She lived a long life and loved so much.  

All of us here have our own stories to say about how we became witnesses to her love. Actually for her, her love is just ordinary and simple. Upon seeing all the people who are here with us, our family is overwhelmed. Seeing and meeting all those who are also mourning and crying with us because of her loss, walking with us at 3pm in the afternoon just to take my lola to this church is overwhelming. Perhaps with this, I no longer need to mention a proof of how great my Lola was. As she sees us all right now, my only wish and hope is that for my Lola to see us and hear as and soon realize that her love is far from being simple and far from being ordinary. It is overwhelming and it’s more than expected. 

On the top of my head, I know that the best statement to describe her is that she was a great mother, a mother not only to my aunts and mother, Tessie, Nery, Osie and Nene but to a lot of people.She is a mother whose posture is not perfect, whose back is arched, whose frame is small, but if I should choose a shoulder to cry on. I will definitely choose hers. For me and for a lot of people, she has the best shoulder to cry on. That is the reason why we love her. In her every dream, every wish and every prayer for sure there is a person behind it. She was a generous and selfless mother. 

For me, she will always be a great daughter of our Lord. She was always on His side when she was still here with us and Now, I see her up in the heavens continuing to pray for us as she did here on earth. I am glad that she is now with the Father whom she loved ever since. For us left here, she will truly be missed especially her ever ready smile which truly resonates the kindness of her heart. 

I, together with all of us here who have witnessed my lola’s love, would like to Thank Lola Heling for her inspiration, memory, kindness and especially love. I invite everyone to join me and my family as we proudly return our Lola Heling to her true Owner, our Lord for she had lived her life to the fullest, making it effortlessly pleasing to the eyes of our Father.  

On behalf of the family of Lola Heling, we would like to thank everyone from the bottom of our hearts who have loved my Lola. Thank you for everyone who has supported us as we went through this tough and sorrowful journey of losing our beloved mother and Lola. Our hearts are deeply overwhelmed by your kindness. We will never forget all your generosity and support. Maraming Maraming Salamat po.

I have always loved conversations, any intimate conversation. It is during these times that everyone who are into the discussion put their experiences on a plate in the middle of everyone just to prove their point. Its a surreal moment because the real person in everyone becomes so alive…especially on the topic of love.

In these conversations, I advise everyone to be keen about not just the people who are talking. Usually a couple in the group handles most of the converations but I am more facinated with the sidekicks. Be aware about what each one is asking. It is usually rooted on some experience from everyone, usually it covers the dilemma that they are currently undertaking. What are they curious about? What are the questions? What are the follow-up questions? Who are the people not speaking but are listening attentively? Each movement , noise or reactions speak a lot about their current status in  love or attitude towards life. Its an amazing sight…that’s why I love intimate discussions. I get a high. I saw THEM.

Being the known mushy girl at work, I also get a high when the discussion is about love. This is because I now have the experience and the pain which makes me deserving enough to express my point.  I love to express my point especially on love because this time when I observe my opinions and stand, its usually different from everyone else. If my points were not rooted somewhere in my experience, I would have been easily swayed by other’s view . I make a stand. Whenever I get to witness my difference in stand with others, I get to see the real me and appreciate myself as a person. I was able to see the person that I have become. This made me so happy. I saw ME.

So what was the stand that I was fighting for? –  It didn’t really matter.

This is a great day. I was expecting to speak in front of everyone and discuss the project’s updates during our ALL HANDS Meeting but after all the practice,  it did not push through. Project updates discussion was actually planned to be on Friday.  hehhe I did not ask. I thought after the meeting, that would be it for the day besides its the middle of the week.

I was just supposed to go home early and stay at home. This is because I am all set up for a big day tomorrow. That is what I expected. As usual, something came up. My friends decided to have dinner together. This is rare because our dinners happen only during Fridays but this time this happened today — Wednesday. Its also surprising that my two MRT buddies decided to stay late as well for this dinner. I think that somethings changing somewhere in the usual sway of things. Usually, I am the only one who is GAME for anything.

It was a good dinner because of the good conversations…from stories and experiences with our maid down to the stories of the heart. It was a very good conversation because I learned something new about myself (See I got “high” with love – AHA moments).

The day I thought remains to be a thought.  Wow, I do believe in miracles. This is one of them.

 I have realized these based on what I have written:
1.) The secret is the bottle.
2.) I am a certified blogger if there is a such a word

Part of me is not comfortable knowing that I will have to tell people that I do have a blog. Its some sort of an invitation for them to get to know me better. .if ever they do want to get to know me better.

First, I no longer become mysterious to people around me. Its because they have read my thoughts and perhaps would have an idea of who I really am. I have actually read in books how important it is not to unveil yourself so much that it makes you less precious.

Second, knowing that there are visitors, I should keep them interested. There goes my marketing instincts. This would hold me down from sticking to the real reason why I wanted to have a blog.I do not want to make them interested, I just want to write. I don’t want to try to impress.

Third, I do not want to be bothered by what to say and what not to say..is my grammer correct or are some of my words misspelled. Toot might read this so I don’t have to say this or someone might read this I should not mention this. Crazy…hey, I even said TOOT. I am starting to feel something is holding me back.

I would love to have an avenue for a smooth flow of information…from my heart to my brains to my hands…typing them all down as if no one is reading this.

SO..I won’t tell anyone about my blog.

but then…

I won’t get to know people’s opinions about what I think. I am not always right.

Sayang yung comments section…unless ako ang magcomment. well weird.

I won’t be able to reach out since this is one of the reasons why I wanted to have a blog.

We are social beings. I will get bored someday writing on my own unless I get input from other people.

SHOCKS! Backout na Backout..ayoko na magblog..ang hirap naman nito.

Here goes my decision making process….

I think in my life, I have done things that others may find not fitting of how it is to be the typical woman.  This happens when sometimes the decisions from your head conflict with the decisions from your heart. They say that if you follow your heart, it would be dangerous. You don’t know where your decisions would take you because most of the time it will crush you. Come to think of it, most of these decisions are stupid ones because no matter how you calculate the risks or forsee expected actions,you end up not knowing where you will end up. weird.

Decisions from the head promises a more favorable outcome.Your head is still kept high. This will be pleasing to everyone especially to your ego. On the other hand, you will not feel the sense of HIGHs (high like the high of an addict) where you get to have those superdooper “YES” moments. Its because these decisions are all safe.

In my life, I decide base on the decisions of my heart…er..not really..if so would still be a loser who drools…so does this mean I decide base on my head..well i don’t think so too, I am still a passionate and emotional freak. Here I go again..something I cannot explain because there is really no process. All are bottled up inside me (my usual excuse when I cannot explain..because believe me I can’t).

But these I make sure.. I will not decide on not doing something just because I am scared, or just because it is painful, or just because I will hurt my ego.  All decisions I made and risks I took are all coming from my conscious and sincere assessment of stuff bottled up inside me..hehehe.

Therefore, i will share my blog to friends. makes sense?hehehe..