Nala’s whisper

Life would definitely be easier if we could really read each other’s mind. If I had this gift, I would have known right away if I am making the right decisions. I don’t really plan to get through each other’s mind to make sure that my heart is safe but I just want to know if I should get hurt and it’s worth it. I don’t plan to be a coward but I just want to know what is really set for me.

If only life would be clear and situations are plain, then it’s easy to determine what’s good and bad. But really, not all that is good is good for you, not all that is bad is bad for you. To make it harder, what determines what is good or what is bad anyways?

Life is really not for control freaks. Should there be an order or process on the way things go? Good things don’t happen to good people. Good things sometimes happen to bad people. You do not really sow everything you reap. You don’t sometimes get what you give. There’s no really close forecast into getting to have what you deserve. So what drives you then?

If possible…I would wish that I would know exactly what God wants me to do. That would make things easier for me whether it’s painful or not. If that is what He wants then, so be it. That should make things easy. What determines what He wants? The response is never a clear black and white answer.

You can never a demand a response from Him…it just comes to you like a feather falling on your lap

- if it falls on your lap

- if it is a feather

- and if the feather comes from Him

- but what if the feather is somebody else’s feather

- what if the feather falls behind you…you didn’t know that there is already a feather for you

- what if a chicken drops in front of you instead..(whew…surprise! lots of feathers)

- what if the feather is fake…from a dust cleaner…does this still count?

-what if the feather is falling in front of you so slow…but you don’t know if it will fall on your lap…wind might take it away from me..(Patience…killing me…Can I just grab it?)…what if it is not meant to fall on my lap? It’s never mine after all.

Lesson # 88: Living life to the fullest – its not just a clear choice…its a choice that comes to you after lots of patience and time…perhaps after making some bad choices before it. It’s a choice that does not come to you instantly or appears to you as correct. It is decided upon and it’s chosen like an act of faith. It is hard to explain…its direction is crooked but it still has a direction. The reason for choosing it is not clear but still is chosen. With this, I get to appreciate choices that people make whether good or bad…it becomes powerful…it builds character…it becomes you…and it defines the owner.

I just recently discovered that some did not know this song..its because people do not know the exact title of the song..

its like confusing “Maybe its you” with It might be you or “I hope you comprehend” with Stars..

it was our teambuilding..when everyone else is sick of singing because its hard to find good songs from a long list of selections. I ended up just plugging in numbers of songs which I think they will like..

After lots of song.. I remembered one nice song which I love to sing..

PROUD MARY appears in the monitor..

My friends did not know the song..for them, its like its some sort of loser song which I just remembered and just felt like singing because I am bored..

Believe me..not this song.. this song drives me crazy… I was more than welcome to sing it… with that, it got everyone dancing..tina’s way.

Hot version:

at last..

got friends..

try something new..

huge jump …

just had to jump there with them..

searched for the best bangers..

after long hours of waiting

after years of not trying..

they did it…

no regrets..

they really looked pretty…

hahhaa..

next pilit…

short hair..

but that would most probably take a lot of convincing..

whew..

now I know why I got my tennis injury..

it leads here pala for my buddies..

break free..

change is good..

change is beautiful..

i am proud of them.

I was actually put in a situation where I was asked what type of music do I like? For others, this is an easy question but for me it was really hard.

“So since you are from Miriam High School..you most probably like R&B?”

 Hmm..I tried to recall moments when I did listen to these type of music. I don’t remember really liking a particular song because its R&B but I do remember songs that I like and its R&B. So maybe I am more in the R&B side… but when I was asked about the latest R&B songs..I don’t know most of them..I heard them but I don’t really do my best to look for albums and listen to them. Yeah..I had to quit thinking and give in to the fact that I am not into music.

So am I really not a music lover?

Hmm..

1.) I do not have an ipod.

2.) I do not have any mp3s

3.) I do not have ear phones at work.

4.) I cannot play CDs in my office PC…I did not complain ever.

5.) I do not have a favorite radio station. I just run through all stations until I find a good song.

Soo..the point is I am not into music. hmmm…

I don’t know..in that perspective I guess I am not.

But..

1.) When I surf the net, I love reading lyrics of songs that I am familiar with.

2.) I really enjoy watching singing competitions..local or intl.

3.) I can sing videoke the whole day..believe me.

4.) I sometimes can’t help but sing while working.

5.) It came to a point where my office mate recognized that I wrote a particular phrase in the slides (post mortem) because it came from a line of my favorite song (“This never happened to me before” — Paul McCartney).

I love songs especially those that I understand because for a time, it became real for me. My fascination in songs has a lot to do with how they are made..from how the lines are real and to how they were interpreted in such a way that the songs really do come from their heart. To a point where I can say.. “I believe you.”  ”I believe you.”

I love concerts, love songs (fast and slow), breakup songs (mostly slow), Gospel/Mass songs, Christian songs  and old classic songs. That’s how I appreciate songs I guess..how it moves me..how it makes me joyful when it supposed to be joyful..how it makes me very sad when its really a sad song. I do not know how to describe what songs do to me but whatever it is, its that thing that keeps me so in love with songs.

So am I a music lover?

In a the world’s perspective…I am not.

But in my own definition..I guess I am.

Its amazing what romance can do to a girl’s life. Its usually the best topic to discuss in girl talks. Its not surprising that when I got off from an all girls school in highschool, I just fell in love with the first guy that swept me off my feet with this thing called romance. Knowing then that it was everything, he just got to be the one.

 As life becomes more complicated and as life becomes more real to me, I think romance is still important. People do the craziest stuff with it. There’s something with it that makes life meaningful..interesting..sensible..hmm. That is because romance is rooted from passion that makes one different from the other. What seems to be the usual becomes the unusual but still makes sense. Do I make sense? Anyways..whatever.

The flowers, the chocolates, the cards, the text messages, the calls, the I miss you’s, the songs, the visits, the tell all the world I love you things, the you complete me kind of things, the love songs, the love stories, the haranas, the bells ringing..believe me.. they all mean a lot. It makes a girl a woman. It makes a woman feel good and a woman want to be a woman. It makes a man a man doing those things for woman. It makes a couple a couple. These should really be part of a relationship.

Still, there is something apart from romance that strikes me more..

When a man allows you to go out with your friends even if that means he will be eating alone.

When a man tells you, you are wrong because you are nasty to other people even if telling you this could start a fight which is something he wouldn’t want.

When a man even if it will drive him crazy, lets you go.

When a man decides not to love you and pursue you, knowing that he is not good for you.

When a man secretly does things for you even if you do not know about it.

When a man allows you to have space to grow fully and meet new friends even if he knows very well that doing so could mean that he could lose you.

When a man who knows you well, fights for what’s good for you even to the point where he has to fight you for it.

When a man tells you not to answer his calls because he is bad for you even if you know for a fact that he wants to be with you and talk to you.

When a man can resist his greatest desires for your good.

I am not sure if these things has something to do with being romantic.

Still I am not underestimating romance…Romance is important..although for me it is only secondary..

Romance is nothing compared to how it is to be truly loved.

US TRIP – May 2006

REUNIONS 2006 -2007