Nala’s whisper

This feeling is not new to me.

Its like the final exam week of the quarter…

Its like thesis week and there you go..you will soon graduate..

Its like the last push to Go Live…

Its like the final breath to salvation..

Its like the last practice to the championship game..

Its the final sweat, final stab, final dip… Its amazing how much I was willing to die this week knowing that whew..this is the last before the best thing that comes to my life pours over me. It got me thinking though that how come it is so easy to suffer so hard as long as there is assurance of something good coming. Suffering without the assurance of something good is not as easy to do. Well, forget it, that’s another topic.

Part of me thinks I deserve to be excited but I still can’t. I get the jitters though when I think about it…calls with my sister for hours about our plans..messages in my friendster of friends I will meet there..planning out of great things to do there with friends…my mom and dad buying stuff to bring for relatives there…my sister asking me to buy some ensaymada..getting a haircut…all in preparation for something that will come..for sure…getting closer as the clock ticks.

Before it comes, I still have gazillion of things to do.  I can’t even imaging how I can do it all in four days..I got to get myself close to dying but not dead. The usual motto to getting things done at work. Believe me, I’ll be doing this with a smile on my face. I just have to make sure though that I don’t die.

To get everything done..I really have to focus and make sure I get things done in the next four days..whew.. here it goes…

the final exams…

the thesis panel interview…

the final job interview…

the final practice…

the last breath…

the final seal of approval…

I just can’t wait for my final shutdown…my final turning off of the monitor..the final locking of the bin..the final badge out…for the month of august.

You could have been a famous Explorer
Someone has to be the first to dive in, and it might as well be you. From sailing uncharted waters to climbing mountain peaks to exploring foreign lands, you’ve got a bold spirit and a brave soul. Not one to shy away from a challenge, you enjoy pushing the boundaries.

Whether you were the first to reach the New World or the top of the mountain, there isn’t much you won’t try. Courageous and adventurous, it’s all about testing the limits and taking life to new heights. With that kind of attitude, you’re sure to go far in any life! 

  Who Were You in a Past Life?

  Brought to you by Tickle

I was rushing just to get home as fast as I can because I was hoping I can get to greet my mom personally on her birthday. I was in the middle of my walk towards the nearest train station when I realized I forgot my umbrella. Me..of all people..I actually had four big umbrellas under my desk..of different colors..but I end up not taking one of them to get home. I had to make a decision then to go back or not.

Hmmm…My decision was to  get home as fast as I can. I did get to the North fast..I was able to walk fast and squeeze in fast enough to get it all to the last station in less than an hour. When I was off for my last ride, the rain poured and got me stranded. Whew..too much for high hopes..I did my best but I couldn’t get to where I wanted.

In my life, I really don’t want to bother people when I do get problems or when I do get stuck somewhere. I usually wait till the rain stop pouring or wait in line..get a little wet and find a taxi. I’m all set to get through this on my own because I have always counted on a good friend above the heavens to help me out and make it easier.

 This time, I asked for help. I called my dad and told him that I got stuck and have been waiting for so long to get a ride. He told me to wait. Alas, two of the three men of my life (not including my 91 year old lolo) went rushing to take me home. I got home safe, was able to eat dinner and watch television beside my mom. I got what I wanted. I warmly thank my brother and my dad for the help. I think right there, we are already super close but we got a little closer than before.

It is true that when you help someone, something in the relationship changes from the giver of help to the receiver of help. For me, it works both ways. There is something that changes in the relationship when one asks for help to someone. That I am so curious about but I am getting it.

One time, someone from work was offering her burger because she really did not want to eat it. I am not really that close with her since she just bumps in to the office once a week (guess who?). Every one said, they are full and decided not to take the offer.  What I did? I decided to take the offer. I was not hungry but a good merienda will be great. I thank her and I was really happy to get a free burger from her. With that, she was able to approach me easily, greet me and I was able to do that to her as well.

It is common knowledge that offering help builds friendship and makes the relationship better. I think its not the only way. My point is receiving offers or asking for help is also another way of making any relationship better. In my life, I won’t pretend I am that independent woman and tough girl who can do it all alone. Honestly, I need help and I will need help. For sure, everyone does. So, If you get in trouble, ask help, its ok.

headache..

focusing is hard…

minor issues become big frustrations..

emotional…

lots of slips due to foolishness..

quiet…

teary eyed…

hear nothing..

listen to yourself…

see no one…

tissues everywhere…

Given how tough jobs at work and how tight deadlines are, I am not sure if people goes to a point like this. Sometimes you even go through big problems in life but then, you really have to go on with your life and get your job done. Is it just me?

Or is it because I am the only one who is not able to hide emotions? Or is it because I am the only one who is not professional? Or is it because I am the only one who gets sad with life? Or is it because I have personal issues or personal insecurities that I have yet to discover?

Its funny how my brain works during these times. Part of you, doesn’t want to show that you can no longer hide your emotions, with that, you end up staying in the comfort room. Also, part of you wants to work because you are trying to meet a deadline. You end up doing your emotional stuff while working…which is not professional right? hehehe.. sorry.

If that is the case..then I am the most unprofessional person I’ve known. I have never seen that many people lose it at work. Perhaps I am the only one who has problems. I do remember lots of times when I got to cry at work. Ahhh..people usually go on leave when they have big problems, that’s why I don’t get to see it (…hahaha I end up being a workaholic then right? I could have stayed home.)

For people who have problems and are at work but are able to hold it back, I admire you. Its amazing how you control it..that’s very professional.

We strive for professionalism right? With that, I am a disgrace.

If there is something nice about these experiences of mine..its that my friends can tell if I am not ok. Its amazing that they know. I don’t know how they would figure it out, I kept on asking them why. The point is..they just know. It makes me happy to know that they know.

• I am happy to know that they care enough to notice actions, reactions or anything that would make them feel I am not ok.
• Most importantly, I am happy to know that I’m real.  

Work demands us to be professionals. Our human hearts demand us to just be real. 

I’ve seen people work like me. Professional but real, they end up crying at work or singing at work. I am not sure but it seems like its a good thing. Its something people should not be ashamed of. Although you work as employees, you still have to remain true to yourself as humans. But with any failures or sad stories, life still needs to go on..you make it go on by striving to complete the tasks assigned to you. One task to another..then you go on living.

Life is work and work is life. Hmmm… I didn’t like the sound of that.

Living involves working. Working involves living.

With that in mind, We can get the best gifts that work can ever give us..not the salaries or promotions…it is at work sometimes that we discover good friends in life.

Hmmm..I can now smell it from here…

1 day to 1- week vacation leave — that’s nothing; it just passes by; forgettable.

2-week vacation leave — that’s something; just ok not so spectacular..just fine.

3-week vacation leave — that’s all the rest I need to go back to the real world again

4-week vacation leave — life changing. 

unleash the money or table tennis…

unleash the money..mmm..no..no..table tennis…no..its time to get serious..unleash the money..but i want to play..  but I should unleash the money..i need to plan out my finances..i want to play. 

i need..i want..

i need..i want..

i need..i want..

money..sports..

money..sports..

without people…with people…

serious…fun…

solo trip..team event..

boring…fun!..

i need money to have fun…i need fun to have money???

money makes the world go round..fun makes the world go round…

i gain…i may gain or i may lose…

no money..no fun..

lots of money..lots of fun..

long term gain without assurance of profit..short term gain but fun gain..

investment..temporary fun but so fun…

whew..

tough decision…

 Which one will I remember most after 10 years?

decision clear.

so when’s the practice?

1. fix my bangs
2. walk for 3 mins
3. make it faster till I get myself running for 5 mins
4. fix my bangs
5. incline level up
6. slower
7. incline level up
8. incline level down
9. walk for 2 mins
10. fix my bangs
11. make it faster running for 5 mins
12. make sure that I keep up..
13. I keep up…
14. run…
15. slower
16. walk for 2 mins
17. fix my bangs
18. zero incline
19. turn speed up..
20. sprint
21. sprint for 1 min
22. check if I am sweating..
23. if not sprint some more
24. then slower
25. slower
26. fix my bangs
27. walk
28. walk breath
29. breath heavily
30. fix my bangs

whew…I love running.

Even though the gods are crazy
Even though the stars are blind
If you show me real love baby
I’ll show you mine

I can make you nice and naughty
Be the devil and angel too
Got a heart and soul and body
Let’s see what this love can do
Baby i’m perfect for you

Actually I’m not into the lyrics..i am into the song.. the jive..the playfull…silly..girlie..so relaxed but all perky sound. I was planning to place the music from you tube..but its so paris. I don’t like Paris because of her DUI violation. I just don’t like the thought how people can just go drinkin’ and drivin’ on a regular basis… as if they own the world.

Paris is the stress…the song is the stress reliever.

Whew..