Nala’s whisper

STOP!!! 

I had to stop now…

AUGUST – no more tennis lessons for me but it was all work since I had to complete lots of stuff before I deserve to leave for the whole month of September. Stresss — more  food.

SEPTEMBER – I’d hate myself if I put myself on a diet while I am on vacation. The best lunch out and dinner out ever!! I didn’t hold back. I’m glad I didn’t.

OCTOBER – I missed Jollibee period.

NOVEMBER – Its my birthday..whole week of treats for everyone..hey..i deserve to celebrate

DECEMBER – Its Christmas period.

JANUARY – I had to treat my cousins out since they are here to visit us. It was a whole week of eating like crazy..eating the best.

That ends it..right there. I cannot come up with another excuse.

FEBRUARY -

come up with something..please….

its valentines…”so…”

its..its…its..oh well.. I give up.

girls need some fat you know…

but..

i’m getting tired easily

i’m starting to hate walking…

i love all my clothes and i am no longer using some of it…

no plans to buy a whole new wardrobe in a different size..

besides..holidays are over.

This is the season where I had three things going on last year..badminton tournaments, volleyball tournamets, swimming sessions and tennis lessons all jumbled this whole season. I’m not sure if I can top that.

Whew.. I’m feeling the season and its coming.

Its time to have fun.

Its February…its time to Bring Out that Little Devil in me and BE VAIN.

someone just typed in “men scared to commit” in one of the search engines and she ended up in my blog

so much for the pressure..and the big responsibility…i hope i didn’t just change lives after my bluff bluff..bluff…

i hope she got what she needed to know in my blog… i had to re read what I just said all over again.. did I make sense? did i stop  someone from possibly jumping into a relationship with someone because of what I just said? oh well..i’m crazy.

or did i just save someone?

or i hope i didn’t mess up with people’s heads about commitment..oh well good luck.

see..there are gazillions i guess out there looking for answers..

i might be wrong..in the end, i think i’m not really scared.

or i guess the person who typed is actually a man..secretly looking for answers..knowing exactly that he is scared to commit..

or perhaps this guy knows that he scared and is trying to look for ways he can cope with it..and no longer be scared…hmmm.. my advice..JUMP — DIVE IN!

or perhaps he is looking for girls who are scared to commit and is up to the challenge…hmmm..

why did the person searched for “men scared to commit”? I guess i’ll never know…

oh well..generally..men/women who are scared to commit — are not hopeless.

believe me.

In the first part, my point is there is reason to be scared of commitment. Come to think of it…that should not be an excuse to stay stuck. There should come a point where you can overcome it..with the right person and the right time.

I’ve been talking to the 100th friend of mine who needed to move on and for sure, just like everyone else. They will find their Mr. Right before I ever find mine. My batchmates in Splitsville have all had new relationships and others have had been to more relationship except for me. Part of me makes me feel I’m stuck somewhere.

Stuck in the past — not really — I just can’t figure out how to get pass this part when others have done it. I guess I am a good counsel from the broken hearted part to the “I’m ok and have move on naturally well part but still single”. From there to having a new relationship part — That I’m still lost. Well, I guess that’s something I still have to figure out.

Now here comes the commitment phobia thing.. I guess there’s something about me being stuck and that phobia. In the end, its not really a good thing. I ‘m not sure how this exactly works for men but if there’s anything weird about this phobia. Its that part where when you somehow find yourself close to getting there…finding the connection..finding yourself somehow close to the possiblity of crossing this bridge…you freak out.  Or you find yourself finding all the words and reasons to convince yourself and a prospect that a relationship will not work? What an argument? Come to think of it..there is really no perfect relationship. There will always be reason why it won’t work because the people involved are imperfect. Geez..I really do have a phobia. I just realized how crazy this is. Yeah, there’s something I need to work on.

I was asked yesterday after long conversations about relationship with friends if I was ready to have a new one. I just can’t respond. How do you really know if you are ready? Will you ever come to a point where you are ready before you go to a new relationship? A good friend of mine told me that you will never be ready. It needs courage to take the next step for love. Love needs courage and effort.

Now I know why I am stuck when the opposite of courage is fear. My phobia is not helping me go to the next step. I thought I should just rely on a man to be courageous for me. With that I thought that only a guy who is brave enough for me can help me get through this “stuckness”. I was wrong. Love does not only require a brave man to come for you but really for the girl..she will need all the courage to accept. Whew…I guess I need to work on something to complete my part of the bargain. The good thing is that now I am conscious of the fear… but…I will still certainly need an  extra extra double double brave man to come for me and a good debater I think.

For now, yeah.. I guess I deserve that BEWARE sign on my forehead.

Its funny how I am always reminded to stay away from the guy that is scared to commit. Someone who will leave you hanging but when you start making things tighter and more exclusive..thing suddenly change..as if he wishes nothing but to grab the smallest of opportunity to leave the relationship. UNLEASH ME!

As the Good Ambassador of Moving On, I am talking to the 100th person who needs someone who came out of a long and serious relationship, as a counsel. I encountered another guy who chickens out while in the relationship leaving a wonderful woman in tears.

Should we really stay away from men who are scared to commit?

There’s seem to be something wrong with the statement that most women are missing out.  Let’s try to figure this out.  Lets dig in as I dig into myself.

Should we be scared to take the step?

Yes- I had to admit I am. Am I weird to admit its scary? It’s scary..its supposed to be one I guess because its a big thing. Commitment is a big thing. It changes lives not just of the couple but of the people around you. It determines your future no matter what may come of it. It disrupts future and directs your course. It defines you.

If its really scary..why should we hate men who think its scary when it is..

Yeah…its better to find that men understands what a commitment is..by definition..it is a big thing and should not be taken forgranted. So why stay away from men who are scared to commit when really..they are the ones who understands what commitment really is.

Since I’m one of those who are scared of commitment, this means I’ll never commit?

hahaha.. BEWARE sign now placed in my forehead….

So, I am just one of those female version of guys that boys with the most sincere intentions should stay away from.

It just meant that it will take a lot for me to commit. It won’t be just because I am lonely or just because I don’t have a social life during the weekends. More than that..definitely…

Knowing what commitment really is, I actually long for commitment. I hope to one day find myself going through this huge jump of finally making a commitment. It determines the choice that  you made in your life despite of all the changes that life may bring.  It puts a stamp in my life which says MY CHOICE, MY DECISION..the world may go crazy but this is it for me. This is MY LIFE.  I’ll make a choice when the right time comes…when it comes..if it comes.

Does this mean the degree of being scared to commit depends on the prospects?

Yes, I think so. It changes per person.

Why would you be scared to be in a relationship with someone who on his own has convinced himself, thought about 100 times, went upside down..all around..turn around..flipped and all..that I’m done thinking and all that crap…its you. To be with a man like this in a relationship..whew..commiting is easy..loving seems effortless.

So Are you scared to commit?

Commitment is a big thing. Its not an easy decision to make. Its not something that you just try…and not something like you’ll never know unless you try kind of thing. You think it through from head to toe and from body to soul. You can’t just change your mind…you make it work…you sacrifice..you adjust…you love.

With that, I’m not sure but I guess I’m scared of commitment but I will embrace and grab it when the right guy, right me and the right time comes.

So should we stay away from men who are scared to commit?

No, I think most of these men understand exactly what it is meant. I’ll be more scared of others who don’t really understand what Commitment really is (Stay away!) . If a guy says he cannot commit, he know exactly what he is saying, then any girl should figure out how it is to be in a relationship without commitment (Stay away!)

The worst would be to be in a relationship with a guy who understands commitment and commits but does not take the responsibility that comes with it. (Stay away!)

Here’s the secret:

As millions of girls run away from men that are stamped as scared of commitment…just so you know…others stick around.

Beware of Garbage Trucks
by David J. Pollay 

How often do you let other people’s nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day?  Unless you’re the Terminator, for an instant you’re probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly he/she can get back her focus on what’s important. Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson.  I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here’s what happened.

I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car’s back end by just inches! The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. 

My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was friendly. So, I said, ‘Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!’ And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, ‘The Law of the Garbage Truck.’ Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they’ll dump it on you. When someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally. You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You’ll be happy you did. 

So this was it: The ‘Law of the Garbage Truck.’

I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people: at work, at home, on the streets? It was that day I said, ‘I’m not going to do it anymore.’ I began to see garbage trucks. I see the load they’re carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. And like my Taxi Driver, I don’t make it a personal thing; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and I move on. 

One of my favorite football players of all time, Walter Payton, did this every day on the football field. He would jump up as quickly as he hit the ground after being tackled. He never dwelled on a hit. Payton was ready to make the next play his best.  

Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting. Good parents know that they have to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses.  Teachers and parents know that they have to be fully present, and at their best for the people they care about. The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their day.  

What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by?  Here’s my bet. You’ll be happier. 

So.. Love the people who treat you right.  

Forget about the ones who don’t.
Believe that everything happens for a reason.

If you get a chance , TAKE IT!
If it changes your life , LET IT!

Nobody said it would be easy…
They just promised it would be worth it! 

Its hard to find a gift…cramming will make things harder for you. With that, here are some tips on good gifts. With that, you can get ideas when you are now at a point when you had to give a gift to someone.

Finding the right book for the right person is somehow difficult. I guess you should have had some sort of closeness or connection to be able to identify the right book. I roamed around looking for something they will like since that is usually the basis for buying someone a gift.

I picked out a couple of books that I know they would like. Its just weird that part of me is still not content with the gift. It’s missing something. I realized that a gift should embody a gift of the giver to the receiver. It should have something in me stamped on it. Well, that makes choosing more difficult. Aside from finding something they would like, I should find something that they will remember me by.

Gifts are a result of a carefully decided intention that you would like to convey to the giver. That intention is rooted from perhaps the intimacy and connection which you have build by spending time with each other. Choosing was difficult but I think I nailed it.

Rachel Ray’s Just in Time, Joel Osteen’s Your Best Life Now and Nina Garcia’s The Little Black Book of Style

Here are just pieces of me and the relationship I have with the receivers. These gifts for me are good gift ideas.

Rachel Ray’s Just in Time – This is not the first time I bought Rachel Ray cook books as gift. I gave this not just to my mom who just likes the feeling of just having all those cookbooks but never really cooks it. Just like me, watching all the shows..imagining all the food..but never really tasting it. I also gave this as a wedding present to a couple who will live abroad after a wedding. They wanted to have a light gift. Its a nice quality gift to a family oriented person or family related event.

Joel Osteen’s Your Best Life Now  – This is for people who thinks deep about life and looks forward to improving himself. That hunger for self improvement and going beyond the comfort zone are some things I got from my Dad. There’s no better gift than a book that can give him good advice about being a better person now by Joel Osteen. This book is authored by a Christian Pastor but his message does not limit the audience to just Christians. The message delivers a truth that will also be cherished by a proudly Catholic man like my Dad. My dad liked it and I think it made him happier in life. My brother is reading it now.

Nina Garcia’s The Little Black Book of Style – For Project Runway fans, I had to know what Nina has to say about style. If there’s something I learned about Nina, its about creating your own style and not just following what is trendy. I’m sure this is good, I have had a glimpse of it. I hope it changed my style in the coming days.

Here are just a few of the nice books to share. Give it as a gift to yourself and not just to someone else. You deserve a gift to you know.  You don’t need to wait for somebody to give you a gift just to make you feel appreciated.  I gave mayself two amazing books which I love — One I have shared already, its a make up book the other one, I had to think about sharing it. Let’s see if I will. For now, enjoy these

I’ve seen lots of TLC’s What Not To Wear episodes during my vacation. With that, there’s no way you can ever miss this. Carmindy’s makeup style compared to other make over make up artist is without a doubt amazing. Her style leans toward making your best asset stand out. This makes make up philosophy is not about covering up.

This would definitely be a great gift for ladies who are at a point in their life where they wanted to make make up part of their lifestyle. This is not for ladies who are already experts in the field. Some of the tips I got here were already passed on to me by my sister but since I am away from my sister, I needed something me to remind me of all these things. It takes practice to do good make up effortlessly.

Yes, practice is important but the hardest part in the whole process, is getting used to it. I am currently still inconsistent in applying make up. I only do this whenever I had time in the morning or if I am in the mood. Sometimes when I get so stressed at night, I feel like not putting on make up because my skin is too tired for any application. I have always felt like make up is the same as clothing for me. I cannot pull of a make up that should make me look fresh and pleasant if I know i don’t feel that way. During these time, I don’t wear make up.

To look professional, they said you had to put a little make up too. Its part of the whole corporate look.  That I have to agree. There’s something in the make up that makes the person look ready to meet any client or bosses. There’s something in the make up that makes the person tell the world that I know that that I have a job and that this is not just college. For that intention, there is an appropriate make up for it.

I don’t blame people for feeling uneasy wearing make-up. I guess there is this invisible cult against the kikay. Sometimes just the thought of wearing make-up makes them so hesitant. I get that and I’ve been there. If you are still there, don’t  wear make up. It should grow on you.

I am now at a point in my life where I don’t apologize for being a woman and loving it. I feel like wearing make up and I want to make sure that I approve of all the applications done in my face. I don’t trust make up artists especially those who do not really know who I am. Make up should reflect who you are — just like what Carmindy in the books says. After a trendy makeup by some artist done on me, I had to do it myself this time. I will invest on a good advice and practice harder.

Forgive me if I practice one of these days whenever we meet up. I am in a sweet pursuit to perfect applying it like how Carmindy does on me — natural, fresh and pleasant but would not hesitate to try the smokey eye look and metallics when the event calls for it. Wish me luck in my new hobby for the year.

PS – I have been looking for more copies to give as  a gift but this book seems to be the last so far. Check out Fully Booked stores.