Nala’s whisper

I accidentally watched DAN in REAL LIFE. My friend and I was actually planning on watching something else..”you know…movie with a fatguy love story”.

I like the film…I learned a lot:

1. I should marry a soulmate…no compromise.

2. The right one brings out the best version of you.

3. Love is not a feeling…its an ability. It is messy.

4. Humor is important in a partner. A good and long conversation is an intimate thing.

5. When the right one comes, you will know…you just know.

6. Family is important.

7.You can fall in love in three days.

8. You just don’t plan your life out..expect surprises.

9. Love makes you do things you don’t usually do..or you can’t imagine you can do.

10. Most important of all…I think I want to write for a living.

Since I don’t have anyone for me right now, do I still deserve to even think about what I want for my wedding?

I am in a conversation with a group of girl friends and I was talking about my sister’s wedding. I was excited to ask everyone the question on how they want their wedding to be. I got a response from someone why I am planning things out already. I realized that..maybe its because I may not have someone yet that’s why this is mentioned.  Maybe she’s right,  I don’t think I should even think about it yet.  I’m not even close to getting married yet since I don’t have a boyfriend.

I remember being in  a serious relationship. At that time, I was somehow sure I will marry my partner then. I knew I will marry someone. With that, I guess I deserve to be asked how I want my marriage to be like and deserve to plan my wedding. The weird thing is..at that time, I am sad about something which I think is also important in a wedding. I may have a groom in mind but I still did not feel my wedding would be great as I want it to be.

I started so young in a relationship. I was not able to get to know new people. I was just close with my partner and not really to other people. I don’t have close bonds with friends, relatives or family at that time. I just rely on my partner before for any emotional problems I had. No one knows me well but him. You know..the usual young love sweet love formula.

I try to think about who my secondary sponsors then would be. I ‘m not even sure who really to invite. Usually you invite those that have been really close to you.  Knowing that I have just been so close with my partner..I’m not so sure who to invite which will really appreciate that we are together aside from family I guess.

The feeling was weird. People will just say, yeah, its seems like they will marry anyways and people will just say “..hmm..i would be more surprised if they don’t marry.” I think that for that situation, only the couple will appreciate the marriage. They will both cry for sure but I’m not sure about the people I have invited.  I may have a partner in mind then but there’s still something missing. If that would be the case, i would just have a civil marriage.

This time, its different. I may not have someone but I am having a great single life shared with good friends I get to bond with, cry with and laugh with for anything that goes on with our lives. This time, I am going through a real roller coaster life in just finding someone who deserves me. This time, I am having a hard time finding the right one…I guess I needed to feel this to really appreciate the right one when we meet.  For the past years, I took lots of risk of letting go of people just to make sure I get the right one in the end. Also, I am having a great bond with my family, my brother..that gave me a feeling that I don’t want to leave my family yata ever. I am not wasting my time but I am really spending lots of time with people that are important to me.

I share my pains and joy of being single like with the people I love. I have lots of people around me who I can count on to be there for me. Knowing the life I have right now will really make sure that my wedding day will be the most amazing ever. I will get real tears of joy with friends and family on my wedding day. They will really miss me…miss the single girl me.  All the embraces, the kisses, the tears in wedding will be so real for me.I will get that EMPHATIC “YES, I ’m so happy for you” kind of exchanges of message not just beween me and my partner to be but of people around me who has been with me through all my single life. I want everyone to CELEBRATE with me and not just to be there because they became a part of my life. That’s my dream wedding.

I guess I’d rather take this path now. I think I am more on track into getting my dream wedding this way…for sure a great marriage too… than before.

The groom I hope will one day just come along with the right love and come at the right time. This is important to but my point is that this is not just the important thing.

Yes, I guess I still deserve to be asked about my wedding plans.

As they say, in getting married, the wedding is not the important thing but the preparation of the woman and the man to make the long time commitment of marriage. Oh well, in this case, I am in charge to make sure I think as if the wedding is the most important thing. All else like the budget, emotional preparation and wedding jitters will be my sister’s problem. I am in charge to plan my sister’s wedding.

My goal is..get the best first. To do that…I should consistently and agressively follow up with people..take with lots of suppliers, lots of meetings, lots of wedding fairs, lots of magazines, taking time out to really..feel and know what you want, lots of calls and lots of energy boosts…good kind of stress.

My first priority -  the church -

Manila Cathedral — the basilica, the church of all churches, the church feeling…solemnity, traditional..that’s what I look for in a wedding ceremony.

Believe me.. to get a schedule in this church is a monumental thing for me. I had to squeeze my way, get all requirements done, attend seminars even as a representative just to get a slot…I didn’t even get the slot that I want but just getting a slot is a blessing.  Also, I had to get lots of calls just to get the best photographers and videographers. I lost our first choices since most book a year before the wedding. My sister’s wedding date is Jan. 4, 2009 and I still am having a hard time finding available and good services on that date.

POINT is: To get the best, you have to take all pains and take lots of effort.

Manila Hotel, Manila Penninsula and Makati Shangrila -  Got slots there and its a good thing that in reserving the place, its already a package that provides the catering, flower arrangement, bridal car, cake, string quartet..oh well that cuts out lots of stress from me.

Part of me though does not like the whole hotel thing. Its too formal for someone like me. Its too castle like…too serious..too restrictive..guarded…not me. Then, Rockwell Tent came along. Oh well, its true that this would mean more stress for me since I will have to coordinate for suppliers for sound system, bridal car, event stylist, caterer, lights, etc. I wanted the Rockwell Tent but this will give me a more stressful look during my sister’s wedding. This is not good for the second most beautiful girl in the event, I was assigned as the maid of honor.

POINT IS: To get what you want, you have to take all pains and take lots of effort.

At this point, I got the best church, reception venue, event stylist, videographer and photographer. Now the fun part comes in, in the succeeding meeting, we will now start discussing what I wanted in the wedding…that will remain a secret for the wedding.  I think of the best and make sure that I get things done and make this wedding beautiful. Even if its not for me, its for the person who means so much to me and for that I will make sure I get her the best wedding she will ever think of.

POINT IS: To do something special for the person you love, you have to take all pains and take lots of effort.

Bottomline is — for the best, for the most wanted, for the most loved — its not going to be an easy ride but for sure in the end..its worth it.

Thank God for the fiasco in the Congress and I heard someone who mentioned this prayer. I didn’t somehow see the need to say this during his speech but I am glad he did anyway.

Here it goes:

This is Mother Theresa’s version of a prayer done by Dr. Kent Keith.

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

Last night I slept late…

not because of work..

not because of blogs..

just because of politics..

There I was with my dad listening to each Congress person’s speech on why they wanted to declare the speaker of the house’s seat vacant. Geez…De Venecia was leader for 5 terms already..so last night was a breaking point..It had to stop and it did. However, before it did..I had to listen to all the 200 plus congress men explaining their votes.

I heard some good speeches..not because they want to Grand Stand..but just because it just made sense to them why they had to vote in a particular way..I get them. There are some, usually the old ones and the minority, will just come up with a very dramatic intro..ending the whole thing with vocal dynamics and emphasis…will end up abstaining…*whatever*.  TAKE SIDES OR JUST SHUT UP! Of course, the whole 5 hour fiasco was on television nationwide. The politicians transform and become POLITICIANS.

Oh well, I have always been into politics really. I was one of those who religiously watch the impeachment trial. I remember being in the hospital for dengue. I did nothing but watch the trial. I actually cried with Loren Legarda. Joker Arroy became my hero and voted him as my TOP 1 in my senate list eversince. I actually went Edsa not because I am curious or because of the adventure, I sincerely just had enough of Erap.

I admit..I am PRO – Gloria becasue the opposition does not offer a better alternative. I hate the News and Public Affairs of ABS CBN but I love their entertainment side. I am starting to love Miriam Santiago. I am a fan of BIAZON. I am for Mike Defensor..not so much of Miguel Zubiri. I used to want Jovito Salonga to be President before even if he was old already at that time. I like politicians like Sonny Belmote, Angelo Reyes and Bayani Fernando. I am glad that Manny Pacquiao did not win.

It was a long time since I had a long good conversation about politics. Good..because I am no longer as updated as I used to be. I fell in love with the SPI Newsletter than the INQUIRER…hehehe (BIG JOKE).

Oh well…politics.

I have this strange fascination of putting myself in this preconceived situation that I will fail…where at real time there are zero ideas.

I have this friend from work who is so scared not to complete a particular task…especially when they are investigating a particular issue. People are scared because they do not know how to code and scared not to deliver what is expected from them. I remember being assigned to task that I cannot really complete. Hey, something came up. So for those who doubt that they cannot deliver. Don’t fret. Something will come up.

Guess what, something will come up..

 I am bigger now..and its sad to see how I cannot wear some of my clothes anymore. I see myself now, wearing the same clothes over and over. I love mixing and matching but since I have fewer choices, I won’t be able to come up with something new out of the clothes that fit me.

Guess what, something will come up..

 I am starting to think that I should really date a lot. You know what they say..you get to find the right one when you meet more people. Blind dates..As much as I try to be open to it, my heart just can’t. Oh well, I just turned down one.  Now, I am down to zero.

Guess what, something will come up..

I have been in this job for the more than 4 years and I can’t believe I’m still here. I used to hate this a lot and was really waiting for my contract to end so that I can leave and do the things I want to do. I want to teach, i want to try marketing, i want to try to do social work, I want to stay at home, I want to have my own business, I want to study.. I had to ask my dad several time if I can just be and not push for the best in my career. I had to because my parents worked so hard to get me a good education. “Is it ok if I just have a simple life?” My parent’s have been very supportive but I’m still here in my IT job.

Guess what, something will come up..

I’m planning my sister’s wedding and I really want to make sure I plan this well. I want to give my sister the best wedding she deserves. To do that, I had to get all my wedding ideas to the point that giving away all my ideas for my dream wedding that I hope my sister will plan for me instead. Will I still come up with great ideas for my own wedding given that the best things I can think of right now will no longer be new?

Guess what, something will come up…

 Sometimes I hesitate to wear my best clothes at present time because I am hoping I can save it for future more special events…I end up wearing the best everyday..because..guess what something better will come up…which I do not know yet.

Alas, its true.

Sometimes I try not to write everything I want to write about all in one sitting because I might not have something to write about the next days.

Oh well, Something will come up…

I can go on and on and on right here. For sure, something will come up for me. It did.

So for someone, anyone, who’s losing it…chill…something great will come up..